Jan 18

Tina Fey’s Betty White Birthday Greeting

Jan 12

Authors@Google: Tina Fey

Jan 10

“Syndication came back to burn me, ‘cause somebody in my house put it on, it was on early, like 7 o’clock, and my older daughter, Alice, who’s six, was watching it I guess, and right as I walked into the kitchen there was a joke where Jane Krakowski was holding a monkey in a sailor suit and she’s like, “Oh, this little outfit hides his erection.” And my six-year-old immediately turns to me and she’s like, “What’s an erection?” And I was like, “Oh, I want to be so mad at this show,” but it was MY SHOW. So I was like, “It’s a building! An erection is a building.” Nope. Immediately she goes, “That doesn’t make sense in the sentence that the lady said, though, ‘cause she said it was hiding in the clothes.” And I was like, “Ohh boy.” Tina Fey on Alice watching 30 Rock (via feyminism)

(Source: lemon--lyman, via fallonfey)

Jan 2

I wanna thank my daughter, Alice, for being the funniest person in my family. For coining phrases like “I want to go to there” and sometimes just putting on pretend make-up in the mirror, and she’ll turn to me and say, “I look like Barack Obama.” She has somehow gotten it in her head that it’s a good thing to resemble a famous politician. I don’t know where she got that idea.

(Source: cheia)

Dec 22

“While my parents talked to the teacher, I was sent to a table to do coloring. I was introduced to a Greek boy named Alex whose mom was next in line to meet with the teacher. We colored together in silence. I was so used to being praised and encouraged that when I finished my drawing I held it up to show Alex, who immediately ripped it in half. I didn’t have the language to express my feelings then, but my thoughts were something like ‘Oh, it’s like that, motherfucker? Got it.’” Tina Fey, Bossypants

Dec 20

“I would always complain to my mother after the Greek kids’ parties because they served Italian rum cake. Covered in slivered almonds and soaked in booze, Italian rum cake is everything kids hate about everything. No one even ate it. It just got thrown away. Cake Time is supposed to be the climax of a birthday, but instead it was a crushing disappointment for all. I imagine it’s like being at a bachelor party only to find that the stripper has overdosed in the bathroom.” Tina Fey, Bossypants

Dec 19

“When you see your Big City through a non-admirer’s eyes you notice things you normally would not.
‘Hmm. I guess there are a lot of dog turds on Eighty-third Street.’
‘No, it’s great. We just put our garbage out the back door and when it starts to overflow the super picks it up.’
‘Who, that guy? Yeah… he’s playing with himself. Okay, let’s go in the playground the other way.’” Tina Fey, Bossypants

Dec 18

“In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions (see: ‘George W. Bush’s Repeal of the Estate Tax,’ ‘Scott Peterson’s Plan,’ and ‘Dred Scott v. Sandford’ ), I invited the whole family out to New York for a Christmas adventure. I learned quickly that trying to force Country Folk to love the Big City is like telling your gay cousin, ‘You just haven’t met the right girl yet.’ They just don’t like big cities. It’s okay. It’s natural. They were born that way.” Tina Fey, Bossypants

going-to-scranton:

thesingerinaband:

As soon as I saw them all, I ran for my camera immediately!!!!

omg

(via fallonfey)

Dec 17

“

I thought the speeches that Jim Downey wrote for Jason Sudeikis as Joe Biden were brilliant. Especially the stuff where Biden is trying to prove that he’s not some Washington elite by talking about how he’s from Scranton, Pennsylvania, ‘the most godforsaken place on earth.’ I thought that was ingenious, because not only was the ad hominem attack on Scranton a hilarious comedy left turn, it also exemplified what the election had become. Instead of talking about issues, everybody was trying to prove how ‘down-home’ they were. ‘I’m just like you’ was the subtext of every speech.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff?

” Tina Fey, Bossypants